Becoming Katie Butterfly

Dear Survivor, you are so incredibly brave. It takes great courage to get out of bed each morning and try to make the most of each day. Some days are hard, you may not even want to get out of bed and if you aren't able to, that's ok. You are still so brave and so amazing. Some days you mar want to talk about what happened to you and other dats you do not. I hope you have an incredible Soul in your life who will listen to you, believe you, and validate what happened to you. Being listened to and believed makes all the difference in the world. I hope you have a safe place to retreat to whether a real place or in your mind.  I hope you are taking good care of yourself. You deserve all the best. I don't know you but I love you.   Katie Bug

Dearest beautiful Katie Bug~ You are such a brave beautiful soul. What happened to you is not your fault. What he did was wrong. He was wrong. You are not damaged goods. You are you... A beautiful brave soul. You have taken the worst and chosen to face it, survive it and heal and thrive into a beautiful butterfly. A new creation in our Lord Jesus Christ. Please continue taking good care of my dear, dear friend. It will get easier I promise. All my healing love - KatieBug

I want to the park and got committed! Yes, Jeff and I finally tied the knot. After 6 long years... Unfortunately we couldn’t get legally married at this time but, as far as I’m concerned we are and if anyone disagrees, there’s the door! Happiest day of my life! We are married in the eyes of God, and that’s the purest love and intentions of them all! Here are a few pictures of our day! A friend got us a suite, so we are just relaxing after a stressful week. Keeping this short so we can spend time together, Katie  

I had a powerful dream the other night. My attacker was at my work place and he asked me something about that night/day and I said "I didn't want it. It wasn't okay and it shouldn't have happened. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to my work." It was a total "you were wrong, see ya later" moment. Oh the pride I have in myself, yes it was just a dream but so powerful. I've started looking into healing books to heal my mind and body. This won't last forever! Smiles, Katie

I decided I needed a part 2!! 1. The color purple 2. Random acts of kindness showed to me. 3. Beautiful souls 4. Sunshine 5. Campfires 6. The number 6. 7. Kindness 8. Smiles 9. Rainbows 10. Hearts 11. Singing my favorite songs. 12. Singing hymns with my family 13. Getting lost in a book 14. Dressing up occasionally. 15. Talking about my favorite things That's enough for today, but...  I went to pick up my book at the library and found this in my box at work... To my lovely co-worker that gave this to me, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, you kind, wonderful, beautiful person it made my entire day. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I'm tired and I'm stressed and I have a crazy, crazy but wonderful week up ahead. Candles are one of my favorite forms of self care and soothing and purple is my absolute favorite color! My heart is full of joy. Smiles and hugs, Katie

Katie here. I've been thinking about what to blog about and I thought "hey how about writing about some of my favorite things...." Relaxing stuff, my interests, people I love, all that random stuff. Tea.... I love herbal tea. Wonderful Scented Candles Grape flavored goodness! Hugs - the kind where it melts all the sadness and pain away Kitty cats My job Socializing Random acts of kindness Blogging Movies...  Books, books, books. Art Therapy Sarcasm and teasing with close friends Jeff Sleeping American Girl Dolls Blankets Clothes My Family Mare Bear My Chunky Monkey Pictures of loved ones Music Reba McEntire SELF CARE Hearing "I love you" from people that matter Chillaxing Mindfulness Talking about deep stuff to people that matter Babies... babies make me happy! Well, I have many other favorite things and things that bless me. But, I'm ending it here today. Right now, my mind and body is so worn down, tired, I don&

Katie here. Lately, I've been ranting about these issues that need to change.... Just like rape culture and victim blaming needs to go buh-bye! The stigma of mental illness does too... If the media is gonna portray it.... Get it right!!! We aren't monsters!!!! Ha - the rant before my rant. Without further ado.  It's also NOT funny, no laughing matter, no lets-make-jokes at it. Even with me having a mental illness, I shouldn't make fun of myself either. One it teaches others how to treat me and makes me think lower of myself. Makes me mad that they just made a comedy movie about a woman who has borderline personality disorder. I forgot what the title is or what it's about... But it's not a laughing matter. Besides the point one person WITH bpd is not the same as another. Same with any illness, same with every human being!!! Me on the spectrum from 10 years ago to now, very different places. Do I still have the same diagnosis? Yes. Am I still the same person? Yes.

I am so sick of hearing that she was asking for it. Or that she wasn't raped because of her reputation. If s(he) says she was raped than she was raped! And it makes me even more sick that if someone is a celebrity, that they can do no wrong, or she was lying.  Or in the church, people from "good" families do bad things. And it's not the victims fault. It's the rapist. The only one to blame is the rapist. Put the blame where it belongs. Thanks to rape culture and all that other trash, I have days of still believing that I asked for it, that I somehow wanted it, or maybe if I had done something different it wouldn't have happened. Truth is, my rapist wanted what he wanted and he would have done anything to get it. I was raped 6 years ago by someone I thought I could trust. I've only been healing from my experience for about two years now. It's something I'll never get over entirely. may heal, but it may never fully goes away. He took so much from me.

This weekend I went to Michigan for my Grandparents' 60th Wedding Anniversary. I got to see all my relatives and it was a great time. I realize, how loved and happy I am when I am reunited with my family. Because of my grandparents we are who we are today. And I couldn't thank them enough. I also got to meet my cousin Kari's little guys for the first time. I just fell in love with Jett and Jax. And here are some pictures with the rest of my family!! I am so very blessed with such an amazing family.  Joyfully, KatieBug