Christmas Miracles.

Written: November 7, 2005

By: Katie Marie Clements

The smell of pine

The lack of sunshine

The glistening snow

The fiery glow

The season I now hate

I"m sure many can relate

The pain inside

I cannot hide

I miss him so much

And his gentle touch

Memories are everywhere

More then I can bear

It's in the joyous songs

It's in the Carol's Ding Dong

It's all in my head

I can't believe he's dead

The Christmas lights

Shine so bright

The music in the background

Playing it's mystical sound

It's something about the season

That seems to give me a reason

A reason to remember and cry

And a reason to ask why

Alone by the fire place

Peace flows over my face

I drift off into sleep

I dream things ever so deep

* * * * *

Walking in a winter wonder land

We're hand in hand

We're singing together

In the Christmas weather

We come to a place filled with light

It's truly a miraculous kind of night

Just as we're getting to the best part

The part where I know we'll never depart

I awaken back to the fire place

Back to the very same space

But, now, I know inside

I can have the tears I cried

But, I can stop grieving so much

I know his magic touch

Will always be there

It's all around in the air

It's in the songs I sing

And the joy they bring

It's in the poems I write

And the faces they light

It's in the pictures I see

Everything that is me

I can still have my tears

But know in a way he's still here

*Star So Bright*

Written: November 10, 2005

A star so bright

Sending me it's light

It's so far away

I want to catch it today

I want to sing

Let the sound ring

I'm full of delight

Looking at it's sight

It's a cold December night

Everything about it is just right

I hear a train in the distance

It's putting me in a trance

I hear the music play

It has a lot to say

The wordless song

Has a message so long

It's a Christmas lullaby

Coming down from the sky

Makes me shiver everywhere

But I'm not cold or scared

It's a mystical feeling

The hatred is pealing

I love this star

It erases the scar

The pain haunting my dreams

Is suddenly gone, it seems

This is very tragic

It must be magic

A star so bright

Sending me it's light

It's not so far away

I caught it's light today

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS!

I couldn't have had such a blessed year without you wonderful folks by my side.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

So, I have some time this evening & decided to just put together a cool post. Have I mentioned how much fun GIFS are?!

I hope your Christmas is Merry and Bright.

Comments

The number will never be enough.

I have realized on this hell-ish journey of what they call anorexia, that the number will never be enough. I've been starving myself off and on since about February. First it was to lose about 10 lbs that I gained while my thyroid was under active. I started eating better but just ate less. I finally got back to my normal weight. And I decided I was gonna go lower. Mostly because I hate my breasts. So, I started cutting back on calories. Counting them on an app and a tracker that counted how many calories I had burned. I'm really not much of an exerciser, so I mostly just restricted what I ate, between eating normal on weekends or when with friends. Didn't want them to catch on and wanted to still enjoy myself and not put my life is jeopardy. Well, I'm at about 10 lbs away from what I called my goal weight. And the last few days I really restricted so I can finally reach the goal. I've agonized over getting help and eating right and just a constant battle with my th

Christmas Blessings

Lame title. But, how many blog posts can I call "Merry and Bright"?! What can I say? Our first Christmas together, of course didn't go as perfect and planned out as I tried to make it, but, it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I was surrounded by amazing family, friends and of course my husband. This was our first official Christmas together and Christmas Day was our 5-month anniversary. 5 months ago I said I do, and I'll keep on saying it. And now with the new year fast approaching I know what my goals for 2016 and beyond are. It's something I will have to work on and slowly progress with. But, I know now I don't have to do it alone, I have my wonderful and sweet husband to work with. And I can't think of anything better. This year didn't go anywhere close to as planned, it showed me some of my hardest days, it showed me some of the best. And everything in between. This is a journey I'm on, to truly being a new Creation in Christ and becoming Kati

I'm not who I was.

Well, I need to write this. The memories, the guilt, the self-blame - all of that is all flooding back. Just down pouring on me. I can't let this get to me. I have a job interview tomorrow and I gotta be the best person I can be. But - it's all coming back, because I'm thinking about next weekend when I go to our yearly church camp. I will probably run into my runner-up nightmare, the people I really have the most nightmares about. His ex-family. I can't handle the glares and the judgemental looks. They don't know what really happened and frankly I don't think they care. I just want to scream "you don't know what happened. How can you be judging me. You claim to be these high and mighty Christians, yet you treat people like crap" I sinned yes, I was used, yes, and I was made to do something I really didn't want to do. But, even then... No sin is greater than the other in God's eyes. I just have to hold my head up high and not be ashamed. I

Becoming Katie Butterfly

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