Becoming Katie Butterfly

Next week I am seeing Ingrid Michaelson for the first time. I am beyond excited! Her "Be Ok" has gotten me through some many dark days in this journey!! Less than a week and I will be seeing her live!  My love, Katie 

I've been thinking about it and I don't want to waste another second of my life on the likes of my abuser. I know he doesn't waste his life thinking of me. I am done!!  I have so much positive in my life, I don't even want to think of him! That's where I'm at today. Xoxo, KT

To the people saying I need a fresh start, that I can do better. Please, just back up! I'm happier than I have been in years, I'm alive, working, living a normal life etc, etc, etc. I'm sorry you don't agree with the things I've chosen, or the person I've decided to spend the rest of my life with. But, it's just that.... My choice. This is who I am, where I belong with and who I belong with. I am truly happy. "Don't you worry your pretty little mind. People throw rocks at things that shine" -Katie 

Well, I need to write this. The memories, the guilt, the self-blame - all of that is all flooding back. Just down pouring on me. I can't let this get to me. I have a job interview tomorrow and I gotta be the best person I can be. But - it's all coming back, because I'm thinking about next weekend when I go to our yearly church camp. I will probably run into my runner-up nightmare, the people I really have the most nightmares about. His ex-family. I can't handle the glares and the judgemental looks. They don't know what really happened and frankly I don't think they care. I just want to scream "you don't know what happened. How can you be judging me. You claim to be these high and mighty Christians, yet you treat people like crap" I sinned yes, I was used, yes, and I was made to do something I really didn't want to do. But, even then... No sin is greater than the other in God's eyes. I just have to hold my head up high and not be ashamed. I ...

Not sure what's going on with me.... Just in a mental mind funk and not sure how to get out. I guess my mental illness will always be there! Gonna take some gentle care! I think I just need some self care. I've just been so busy, I haven't had time for me. All my love.... Katie