Becoming Katie Butterfly

I was molested by my neighbor. It happened from 5th-7th grade. 3 years. I didn't know what he was doing to me was wrong or illegal. I thought it was okay since he was an adult. He never did anything to cause physical pain. He was gentle. Another reason why I didn't think it was wrong. Physically, I wasn't being put in pain, but mentally...I was. I was still scared though. I never said anything until one day I told my abuser's grandson who is 3 years younger than me. Months went by after me telling him then all of a sudden, the Monday of my Spring Break in 7th grade, a detective & social worker showed up at my house. I remember my mom coming to me crying saying that these people needed to talk to me privately. I wasn't in any trouble, just be honest. My abuser's grandson's parent were divorced so he was visiting his mom. He told his mom who contacted the police. My abuser was arrested that Monday. The detective had to come back a couple weeks later becaus...

I've been afraid to share my whole story, beyond my brief letter to my attacker. But, seeing people come forward to tell theirs has inspired me to be brave too. "Katie's Story I was 21. Just barely 21. Before I get into it. Let me just say I’ve had depression, anxiety and a personality disorder since I was 14. At this time, it was the worst, I was not taking my meds. I was in and out of hospitals and just not functioning. Anyone who knows about or deals with Borderline Personality Disorder or other mental illnesses know how that goes.
 May I also add that to this point I was, well a technical virgin. I was raised in a very reserved, Christian family. And like many others, despite my illness, I was going to remain a virgin til marriage. Well, some time after I moved out on my own, I met my next door neighbor. He was several years older, but we became friends. He’d take me places, and we’d hang out and watch movies. Well, eventually we started to fool around. I was nervous, ...

"It all started when I was in high school. I went to a very large high school and with me never being a very out-going person, I felt pressured to belong to a clique or to stand out in some way. I did well in school but was never very popular. Lots of girls end up having their first boyfriend and/or first kiss in high school and never of those things were happening for me, but I wanted it to. I was always jealous of the girls I saw walking through the halls with their boyfriends, making out with their boyfriends before and after every class, or seeing their boyfriends give them presents on their birthday or Valentine's Day or even just seeing girls getting attention from the jocks and all the other popular guys. I wanted a guy to pay attention to me and make me feel special for once, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I was doing wrong. Was I unattractive? Was I not smart enough? Was I in the wrong classes? Did people think I was stuck-up because I didn'...