MY Story.

I was molested by my neighbor. It happened from 5th-7th grade. 3 years. I didn't know what he was doing to me was wrong or illegal. I thought it was okay since he was an adult. He never did anything to cause physical pain. He was gentle. Another reason why I didn't think it was wrong. Physically, I wasn't being put in pain, but mentally...I was. I was still scared though. I never said anything until one day I told my abuser's grandson who is 3 years younger than me. Months went by after me telling him then all of a sudden, the Monday of my Spring Break in 7th grade, a detective & social worker showed up at my house. I remember my mom coming to me crying saying that these people needed to talk to me privately. I wasn't in any trouble, just be honest. My abuser's grandson's parent were divorced so he was visiting his mom. He told his mom who contacted the police. My abuser was arrested that Monday. The detective had to come back a couple weeks later because my abuser confessed things he done to me that I never said. I was scared so I didn't say everything. Court happened for I don't know how long. Every Thursday. I never went. I went to school & worried. One day, I got home from school & was told something that made my world come crashing down. I was going to have to testify in court. I couldn't imagine having to get up on the stand & telling people I didn't even know what he did to me. I didn't understand how he could write down what he did to me & sign it, but plead not guilty. My attorney offered him a plea deal which he accepted. 13 & 1/2 years in Prison & I didn't have to testify. I had to go to therapy. It was ordered I go. I had no choice. I hated it. It didn't solve anything. The church I went to with my abuser, his wife & grandson turned against me. They all supported him & made it out to be my fault. Same with his family. I was starting to believe it was my fault, but it was NOT. I put on a brave face for years & acted like it didn't bother me & acted like it never happened. Well, a few months ago I hit my breaking point. I wasn't happy. I let it take over me. I started thinking that it was my fault even though I was told it wasn't. I couldn't be like that anymore so I reached out for help & I still am! Day by day I'm getting better & healing. I don't talk to my family about it but I do talk to my former 8th grade counselor, school counselor & middle school teacher. I also talk to my best friend, Sam & now Katie! It's okay not to talk to your family as long as you're talking to someone. 

I'm 20 years old. My abuser has been in Prison for 6 years. I am NOT a victim. I AM A SURVIVOR! I AM THE WINNER!

I love y'all.
~Britt!