So, I went to my medication doctor. Because of my PTSD and anxiety, we increased a med.
And I know I can't blame this on my rpaist. Because it's MY decision, but if he hadn't hurt me I wouldn't be finding stupid ways to numb the pain.
Not only am I depressed and have PTSD, my anorexia has returned to help me turn off this... I don't even know. And have some control over my life... But who's controlling who? Even though I know I need to eat and get better, my mind is fighting it. Saying how am I going to deal with the crap when I can't numb it. I'm just tired. Does anyone want to take my hand and help me through this?
My best friend just walked out on me and I just need a friend. Someone to talk to, to laugh and just numb some of this crap.
And she said the difference between wanting to lose a little weight and it being unhealthy (anorexia) is WHY I'm doing it.
And she wants me to go to my therapists' next group meetings once a week but I don't know if I can get off work. Seems like I'm constantly asking for time off.
Sorry, it's not very uplifting.
Katie
I'm here for you! I will help you through this! Being on meds is okay. It's just helping you cope & heal until you figure out how to do so on your own. You're still learning. & DON'T let anorexia in your life. It'll just make things worse. You're beautiful on the inside AND outside! I love you! -B
ReplyDeleteYou need to ask off from work to attend the group as this is an extremely legitimate health reason! You have to take care of yourself first before you can do your best at work! love you! MA
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