Becoming Katie Butterfly

So, yesterday, March 1st was Self Injury Awareness Day. I decided to make a blog on this. I self harmed from the time I was 14 until I was about 22. About 8 years and I've been completely clean for about 5 years. I starting cutting myself as a way to deal with the depression and feelings of deep despair. I cut all through out high school.  My scars used to bother me a lot. But, now I just think of them of reminders of everything I've come through and that I'm alive and a survivor. I survived high school, deep depression, many suicide attempts, rape, self harm. I'm only 26 and I already feel like I've lived a full life. But, now that all that darkness is behind me, I'm looking forward to a life of light, and endless opportunities. Will I still have bad days? Absolutely. But, I know the worst is behind me! I'm going to keep on living for today (and tomorrow) and kicking life's butt. I'm not just a survivor. I AM A THRIVER. Joyfully and Fearlessly thriv...

I was reading some of my old journals. I can only read so much at a time without getting depressed or triggered. The intense emotions of BPD and daily wanting to kill myself.... I'm so glad I'm not in that place now... But, at the same time I wish I could do something to help those that have that intense desire to off themselves. To tell them, yes, it does get better. It took me like 10 years but it did happen.  Don't listen to the voices in your head. People care. You are worth it. Killing yourself is not the answer. If you don't stick around you will never see just how amazing life is. And just what amazing things you are capable of! Just keep swimming, ok? Katie