Thankful November

Today is the beginning of November. I am going to -attempt- to post each day this month things I am thankful for. I encourage you all to do the same.

So, here it goes.

1. I am thankful to be alive. Some days can be a struggle but I am thankful to be alive. Even in the struggles life can be so amazingly wonderful.

2. I am thankful for my incredibly wonderful and supportive fiancé. He has shown me the meaning of unconditional love and I cannot imagine my life without him. I love you, Jeff!

3. I am also thankful for my wonderful friend Mary. She has been so supportive with her love and prayer support. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I love you, Mary!

4. Bunny and Trouble. I am so thankful for our black and white cats! They make my life so much better.

5. Books! Books give me an escape from reality. They are great.

6. Sleep. Because everyone knows how much I love sleep.

I am ending at 6 because it's my favorite and lucky number!

What are you thankful for?!

Smiles,

Comments

Taking back my life one lil step at a time

Happy Monday, you fearless readers! I had fallen into a deep depression, but I have clawed my way out and I'm ready to continue taking back my life one little step at a time! I'm choosing self care over self medication. And I'm focusing on my present and so positive relationship instead of the past. My abuser got my past but he does not get my present or future! I'm focusing more on all the positives and blessings in my life. I'm being fearless and choosing Joy! How about you? Are you with me?! Yes! Yes! The darkness doesn't last forever. I'm proof of it! Fearlessly and Joyfully, Katie💗💗💗💗

Psych appointment

So, I went to my medication doctor. Because of my PTSD and anxiety, we increased a med. And I know I can't blame this on my rpaist. Because it's MY decision, but if he hadn't hurt me I wouldn't be finding stupid ways to numb the pain. Not only am I depressed and have PTSD, my anorexia has returned to help me turn off this... I don't even know. And have some control over my life... But who's controlling who? Even though I know I need to eat and get better, my mind is fighting it. Saying how am I going to deal with the crap when I can't numb it. I'm just tired. Does anyone want to take my hand and help me through this? My best friend just walked out on me and I just need a friend. Someone to talk to, to laugh and just numb some of this crap. And she said the difference between wanting to lose a little weight and it being unhealthy (anorexia) is WHY I'm doing it. And she wants me to go to my therapists' next group meetings o...

Re-traumatized.

So, as I briefly mentioned in a post yesterday, I had an unexpected Pap smear appointment come up. I started to get REALLY anxious as I waited for the appointment. I have a hard time being touched down there by my fiancé. Let alone some stranger I never met. She was very professional, definitely. But, it was very awkward. I mean it's awkward for non survivors. I didn't really have flashbacks, but it triggered intense anxiety. I'm okay today, still... I don't even know the word. Since I obviously am going to have to have them done again for health reasons, I need to find away to approach this. I wonder if it will go better if the doctor knows I was abused, if it would make a difference. I hate these feeling. Will it ever go away? Katie

Becoming Katie Butterfly

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