Skip to main content

Art Therapy & Taking Back My Life

So, I have begun doing some art therapy to help me deal with all the heavy emotions I have been going through. To get them out in a healthy way.

It's been tough lately, dealing with anger towards him, anger and fear of him. What I would say or do if I see him.

I'd like to think I would be a bigger person and not let him get to me. I don't know.

The most important thing is if I do run into him, I know I am not that same vulnerable person I was when he hurt me before. And he preys on that. He can't hurt me anymore. Because I won't let him. That's right, I now have the power over that. Taking back control, taking back my life

& can I just say how thankful I am for my friends who have my back? You know who you are and YOU ARE AMAZING. I really needed to talk last night and you took the time to listen to me. THANK YOU!


And I also wanted to share the lyrics to one of my favorite songs because it totally fits the kind of person you are, Mary.

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita


Love,
Katie

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Taking back my life one lil step at a time

Happy Monday, you fearless readers! I had fallen into a deep depression, but I have clawed my way out and I'm ready to continue taking back my life one little step at a time! I'm choosing self care over self medication. And I'm focusing on my present and so positive relationship instead of the past. My abuser got my past but he does not get my present or future! I'm focusing more on all the positives and blessings in my life. I'm being fearless and choosing Joy! How about you? Are you with me?! Yes! Yes! The darkness doesn't last forever. I'm proof of it! Fearlessly and Joyfully, KatieπŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

Psych appointment

So, I went to my medication doctor. Because of my PTSD and anxiety, we increased a med. And I know I can't blame this on my rpaist. Because it's MY decision, but if he hadn't hurt me I wouldn't be finding stupid ways to numb the pain. Not only am I depressed and have PTSD,  my anorexia has returned to help me turn off this... I don't even know. And have some control over my life... But who's controlling who? Even though I know I need to eat and get better, my mind is fighting it. Saying how am I going to deal with the crap when I can't numb it. I'm just tired. Does anyone want to take my hand and help me through this?  My best friend just walked out on me and I just need a friend. Someone to talk to, to laugh and just numb some of this crap. And she said the difference between wanting to lose a little weight and it being unhealthy (anorexia) is WHY I'm doing it.  And she wants me to go to my therapists' next group meetings o...

The number will never be enough.

I have realized on this hell-ish journey of what they call anorexia, that the number will never be enough. I've been starving myself off and on since about February. First it was to lose about 10 lbs that I gained while my thyroid was under active. I started eating better but just ate less. I finally got back to my normal weight. And I decided I was gonna go lower. Mostly because I hate my breasts. So, I started cutting back on calories. Counting them on an app and a tracker that counted how many calories I had burned. I'm really not much of an exerciser, so I mostly just restricted what I ate, between eating normal on weekends or when with friends. Didn't want them to catch on and wanted to still enjoy myself and not put my life is jeopardy. Well, I'm at about 10 lbs away from what I called my goal weight. And the last few days I really restricted so I can finally reach the goal. I've agonized over getting help and eating right and just a constant battle with my th...