Victim, Survivor, Thriver

So, I have been reading self help books on PTSD and I found this in a book I was reading today and I think it could help others as well, so I decided to type it up and blog about it.


It is in the book "The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook" by Glenn R. Schiraldi Ph.D


Let's all strive to be thrivers!!


Katie

Victim

Helpless

Out of Control

Angry

Hoping to be rescued

Perception of lacking choices

Self-pity

Passive

Payoff (secondary gains) persuade person to remain in victim role

Identity as a victim

In pain, numb, defeated

Avoidance of feelings “I’m still in the trauma”

Controlled by memories

Controlled by depression, anxiety, hatred, bitterness, revenge, physical complaints

Has not learned from the experience, likely to repeat trauma, victimization, shame, self-dislike

Self destructive behaviors.

Hiding

Feeling Fragile, vulnerable, defenseless

Sense of no future, preoccupation with the past

Discouraged, immobilized

 

Survivor

Satisfying sense of having gotten through intact or mostly intact.

Beginning to feel strong

Perception that one has resources and choices

Recognition of one’s potential to change and grow

Living one day at a time, coping from day to day: present life is primary focus

Beginning to take control

Beginning to “Thaw out” or heal living moderately well

Suffering  begins to lessen

Neutral about life – not depressed, but not happy.

Realization that one is outside of the trauma, one has gotten through it.

Extricated self from abuse (either in actuality  or at least one has mentally triumphed over it)

Confronting the trauma

Beginning to integrate

Guilt beginning to be resolved

Committed to healing, trusting and restoring boundaries

Influenced but no controlled by past

Mostly back to normal

 

Thriver

 Committed to move forward

Planning for the future

Active

Self-determined

Feels joy day to day

Achieving Mastery

Self-esteem; sees self as more than a victim- a valuable person

Reaching out to others, finding meaning and purpose

Ennobled by the experience; has grown from the trauma

Living well

Can endure remaining PTSD symptoms with relative comfort and acceptance

Guilt has been resolved

Generally satisfied with life

Perception that one has moved beyond the trauma

Acquiring peace, happiness, renewal, commitment to life, optimism despite scars, emopowerment

Committed to physical health

Committed to loving again

Feeling strong, compassionate, able to connect with others who are suffering and imperfect without a need to hide

Resilient, renewed

Has learned coping skills that did not exist before the trauma

Sense of humor

“beginner’s Mind” openness to possibilities

Finds ordinary life interesting, does not need “Adrenaline fix”