How Do You Self Care?

I've really been lacking on the self care lately.

But, this afternoon I working on my new room at the new place and started putting up my different collections (American Girl, Reba, DVDs)

Then I came home and lit all my candles and watched some shows I like.

Lately I've been doing reading at night but I think I will mix it up a little.

I feel like watching a good lifetime movie and maybe even a bath.

I really haven't done that in a long time. Mainly because I can never stay in very long because I feel overheated and figure it's a waste. That and the thought of it triggered me. Feeling dirty, and not wanting to see myself (just jump in the shower and get out, is what I prefer) but lately I'm thinking I need to love my body for what it is. My body isn't dirty, my bed wasn't dirty. What he did to my WAS dirty. And that's where I have to leave it.

So, maybe if I'm feeling brave, I will take a bath. I might just wait until we are officially in the new place...

Either way, self care it is!

Love and hugs,

Katie

Comments

Taking back my life one lil step at a time

Happy Monday, you fearless readers! I had fallen into a deep depression, but I have clawed my way out and I'm ready to continue taking back my life one little step at a time! I'm choosing self care over self medication. And I'm focusing on my present and so positive relationship instead of the past. My abuser got my past but he does not get my present or future! I'm focusing more on all the positives and blessings in my life. I'm being fearless and choosing Joy! How about you? Are you with me?! Yes! Yes! The darkness doesn't last forever. I'm proof of it! Fearlessly and Joyfully, Katie💗💗💗💗

Psych appointment

So, I went to my medication doctor. Because of my PTSD and anxiety, we increased a med. And I know I can't blame this on my rpaist. Because it's MY decision, but if he hadn't hurt me I wouldn't be finding stupid ways to numb the pain. Not only am I depressed and have PTSD, my anorexia has returned to help me turn off this... I don't even know. And have some control over my life... But who's controlling who? Even though I know I need to eat and get better, my mind is fighting it. Saying how am I going to deal with the crap when I can't numb it. I'm just tired. Does anyone want to take my hand and help me through this? My best friend just walked out on me and I just need a friend. Someone to talk to, to laugh and just numb some of this crap. And she said the difference between wanting to lose a little weight and it being unhealthy (anorexia) is WHY I'm doing it. And she wants me to go to my therapists' next group meetings o...

Re-traumatized.

So, as I briefly mentioned in a post yesterday, I had an unexpected Pap smear appointment come up. I started to get REALLY anxious as I waited for the appointment. I have a hard time being touched down there by my fiancé. Let alone some stranger I never met. She was very professional, definitely. But, it was very awkward. I mean it's awkward for non survivors. I didn't really have flashbacks, but it triggered intense anxiety. I'm okay today, still... I don't even know the word. Since I obviously am going to have to have them done again for health reasons, I need to find away to approach this. I wonder if it will go better if the doctor knows I was abused, if it would make a difference. I hate these feeling. Will it ever go away? Katie

Becoming Katie Butterfly

Search This Blog