Nightmares, Feeling Empowered & Other Random Things

So, last night/early this morning I had another nightmare about my abuser. I could clearly see him in my dream and yes that part was upsetting.

The empowering part was how I stood up to him, named him for the monster he is and I told him off. I won't go into details. But it felt so empowering to be able to stand up to him and for myself. May I continue to have this strength.

Today, is kind of a down day for me. Jeff and I were supposed to be married today but because of some unfortunate downsides we were not be able to. Bummer, huh?

I'm also still hanging in there from losing my grandma. Can't believe it's been a week since we buried her. I guess time really doesn't stop, even as much as we want it to.

Jeff and I have moved into our new place and we are loving it. A fresh start is just what we needed.

I also ordered a late birthday gift. My favorite American Girl Doll of all time, Addy Walker. I do hope she arrives soon.

In the mean time today, I am self caring with a movie. Then I need to do some organizing in the spare room.

All in all, I'm hanging in there. I haven't been defeated yet.

In Jesus' Name, I find the strength to press on.

Katie Bug

Comments

Ashley's Story

Thank you Ashley for being so brave! Love you. " Hello, my name is Ashley and I am 19 years old. I am writing to you all today to tell my story, thanks to the wonderful creators of this page. One of them happens to be my best friend :) My mom has always been verbally abusive. As I was growing up I struggled with learning how to respect my mom because she would always say things to hurt me and my way of defending myself was talking back. Others found it offensive and still do. They believe that every child should respect their parents. I do agree with that but it is hard to do when you are a victim in the relationship. Sometimes some people are opinion based on the old fashion morals and beliefs that every child should respect their parents. Those same people either blind themselves from witnessing a verbal attack or they don't care. My grandmother, my father’s mom, lived with us until she got sick and had to live with my aunt in Reno when I was 8. She raised me more than my ...

Stephanie's story.

" When I was in my mid-teens, I was sexually assaulted. When I was in my mid-teens, I was taught my sole purpose on this earth was to be of service to men, to be a sexual object, not a human being . After being assaulted, everything I thought I knew about myself crumbled. I became an object, not a person . The deep seeded shame society taught me was mine to bear crippled and silenced me. I was taught that what happened to me was my fault. I walked the hallways at school with my head tilted to the floor and my books tightly wrapped around my chest. I didn’t have to look up to know everyone was whispering to each other about me as I walked by. “Did you hear, she cuts herself, what an attention whore”, “Did you know she was drinking the other day in class? She’s crazy”. Little did they know about the pain I was feeling inside, how every day I would wake up hoping it would be my last. After my assault, I felt so alone and the only way I could release my pain was to wage a war a...

Taking back my life one lil step at a time

Happy Monday, you fearless readers! I had fallen into a deep depression, but I have clawed my way out and I'm ready to continue taking back my life one little step at a time! I'm choosing self care over self medication. And I'm focusing on my present and so positive relationship instead of the past. My abuser got my past but he does not get my present or future! I'm focusing more on all the positives and blessings in my life. I'm being fearless and choosing Joy! How about you? Are you with me?! Yes! Yes! The darkness doesn't last forever. I'm proof of it! Fearlessly and Joyfully, Katie💗💗💗💗

Becoming Katie Butterfly

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