"This Is My Fight Song"

"This is my fight song, Take back my life song, Prove I'm alright song. My power's turned on, Starting right now, I'll be strong. I'll play my fight song. And I don't really care if nobody else believes Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me."

This is my theme song to my life right now. Things have not been going the greatest, but it's time for me to take back my life. Things are different now. But they don't have to be bad. I can't wallow in this sorrow and sleep my life away anymore. It's time to live. To keep on fighting. There's still a lot of fight left in me.

I've been knocked down quite a few times, but I keep getting back up again. I'm coming back stronger than ever.

It's all going to be okay, this I know.

Fearlessly,
Katie

Comments

The number will never be enough.

I have realized on this hell-ish journey of what they call anorexia, that the number will never be enough. I've been starving myself off and on since about February. First it was to lose about 10 lbs that I gained while my thyroid was under active. I started eating better but just ate less. I finally got back to my normal weight. And I decided I was gonna go lower. Mostly because I hate my breasts. So, I started cutting back on calories. Counting them on an app and a tracker that counted how many calories I had burned. I'm really not much of an exerciser, so I mostly just restricted what I ate, between eating normal on weekends or when with friends. Didn't want them to catch on and wanted to still enjoy myself and not put my life is jeopardy. Well, I'm at about 10 lbs away from what I called my goal weight. And the last few days I really restricted so I can finally reach the goal. I've agonized over getting help and eating right and just a constant battle with my th

Christmas Blessings

Lame title. But, how many blog posts can I call "Merry and Bright"?! What can I say? Our first Christmas together, of course didn't go as perfect and planned out as I tried to make it, but, it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I was surrounded by amazing family, friends and of course my husband. This was our first official Christmas together and Christmas Day was our 5-month anniversary. 5 months ago I said I do, and I'll keep on saying it. And now with the new year fast approaching I know what my goals for 2016 and beyond are. It's something I will have to work on and slowly progress with. But, I know now I don't have to do it alone, I have my wonderful and sweet husband to work with. And I can't think of anything better. This year didn't go anywhere close to as planned, it showed me some of my hardest days, it showed me some of the best. And everything in between. This is a journey I'm on, to truly being a new Creation in Christ and becoming Kati

I'm not who I was.

Well, I need to write this. The memories, the guilt, the self-blame - all of that is all flooding back. Just down pouring on me. I can't let this get to me. I have a job interview tomorrow and I gotta be the best person I can be. But - it's all coming back, because I'm thinking about next weekend when I go to our yearly church camp. I will probably run into my runner-up nightmare, the people I really have the most nightmares about. His ex-family. I can't handle the glares and the judgemental looks. They don't know what really happened and frankly I don't think they care. I just want to scream "you don't know what happened. How can you be judging me. You claim to be these high and mighty Christians, yet you treat people like crap" I sinned yes, I was used, yes, and I was made to do something I really didn't want to do. But, even then... No sin is greater than the other in God's eyes. I just have to hold my head up high and not be ashamed. I

Becoming Katie Butterfly

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