Becoming Katie Butterfly

Hey guys! It's Katie. I made it back from my camping trip yesterday and wanted to share a few pictures. These pictures cannot possibly capture the beauty of this place but I tried! It was a very healing trip and I'm back and ready to keep on fighting! All my love... Katie 

Sara Bareilles says it best!  " You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love Or you can start speaking up Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle ‘neath your skin Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins But I wonder what would happen if you Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I wanna see you be brave I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I wanna see you be brave Everybody’s been there, Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy Fallen for the fear And done some disappearing, Bow down to the mighty Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live Maybe one of these days you can let the light ...

Tomorrow, rather, tonight all my stress and sadness are going on a hiatus.  Tonight I am headed to spend the night at my parents & in the morning I am leaving for a camping trip with my family. I am leaving all bad thoughts behind and will only focus on the good, my trip, healing thoughts and only think of healing people and pets in my life. I am leaving behind the thoughts of my abuser, SVU, and how words hurt. & I hope when I get back that I will feel better. I am hoping for some form of healing. I am going to leave you the pictures of last year's trip so you can have an idea of what I'm talking about. Bring on the joy, family time and healing! God has great things in store for me! Before I post those pictures I want to leave you with this.... Show a little bit of kindness.. And not the other way around! Katie  

This song... We should all live by! Whether a Christian or not. Sing a song, Sing a song; Spread some cheer, Spread some cheer There are sad and lonely faces every where... Be a friend, Be a friend; Show some love, Show some love It will lift them from the dungeons of despair. Show a little bit of love and kindness, Never go around with hatred's blindness Take a little time to reach for joy and wear a happy face... Sing a little bit when the days are dreary, Offer little help to a friend who's weary That's the way to make the world a happy place. Sing a song, Sing a song; Spread some cheer, Spread some cheer There are sad and lonely faces every where... Offer help, Offer help; Bring some hope, Bring some hope To the weakened and discouraged on life's road... Show a little bit of love and kindness, Never go around with hatred's blindness Take a little time to reach for joy and wear a happy face... Sing a little bit when the days are dreary, Offer little help to a ...

I'm excited for the return of SVU but a little nervous too. Last year's season took me through so much. Coming to terms with my own assault and watching my fictional hero go through it. It was hard. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. The possibility of being triggered again. But the truth is, anything will trigger me, so why not watch a show I love?  I have time to decide. I won't be able to watch the first episode until next week when I get back from camping. I hope one of my friends can tell me whether I should be able to watch it? Stay strong! Katie Marie 

So... What has been getting me through these past few months.... Getting excited about my wedding next Spring. You could say that I have a severe case of the wedding fever.  I've been waiting 5 years for this and I'm more than ready to spend the rest of my life with Jeff. He is my best friend. He taught me a lot but most of all he has showed me what unconditional love looks like. I am so happy and I am done letting my abuser stand in the way. He wanted me for one thing. Jeff wants me for everything. I know the difference now. I tried on my dress (I've had it for 5 years) and it still fits and made me feel so beautiful! I can't wait until the big day. It's gonna be a small gathering but it's going to be so perfect!!! And I'm gaining the perfect mom-in-law. I couldn't ask for better! I am going to leave you with a few pictures of us over the years! I've found my happy ending which actually turned into a happy beginning! Without further ado here are the...

I am thankful I am a survivor. And I am thankful for opening up about what I've gone through. I have met some incredible  people. And having them in my life is worth it. They have helped me through so many things. I'm not glad I was assaulted, but I am glad for what I've learned and how I can grow, heal and help others through this experience. That's all I got. Katie 

You may be gone, but you have not left my heart. And you never will. That's the empact you made.  I think of you and I smile. You were always so quiet and I loved that about you. You always laughed at me and the silly things I would say and do. Our girl time was precious to me. You taught me a lot about beauty and helped me feel beautiful. And I always felt better having you to talk to whether it was serious or my random babbling. You didn't just come into my life. You forever have left a mark on it.  Sometimes I sit and cry because I think of you and just miss you. I know it's okay to cry. Even if we never talk again, I will always love you. I hope you think of me once in awhile and remember the good too. Love always,  Katie aka Reba :)

 Hey beautiful people! My friend Stephanie Chard is an amazing advocate for survivors and have helped so many. She has a mission to appear on the Ellen Show and talk about these issues. She writes below about how you can help. Let us work together to start the conversation, erase the silence and let others know they are not alone! Katie "Hey everyone! As I am sure you all remember, I started a project about a year ago to campaign to get Ellen DeGeneres to address the very important topic of sexual violence on her show. I’ve written in a few times during her 11th season asking her to do so and to help me spread awareness. I’ve even create a YouTube video for survivors and to ask Ellen to join the conversation. Well the Ellen Show is now back after the summer hiatus for season 12 and now it’s time to get those typing fingers going again! There are some great categories right now on Ellen’s website for writing into the show! Take a look at her website and if you see one you like, ple...

is my afternoon choice... Because.... I LOVE IT.

So.... I feel like writing. Sometimes I feel like I need constant validation that I'm a survivor and not at fault. I don't know if it's normal or if it's just another weird quirk of mine. But, I need to hear from my friends that I'm loved, that it wasn't my fault. It helps me to believe it too. Also, in group this last week we learned about opposite emotions... Like, right now all I want to do is crash into bed with the covers over my head? Am I tired? Yeah, sort of, but I got a good night's sleep. I know myself and I know it's me wanting to avoid the world, to stop the pain for awhile.... So, instead of that, I am going to do something else. Maybe a movie since it's chilly outside. I'm thinking a comedy or family movie. I WANT to watch some SVU but worried it will trigger me and really send me wanting to hang in bed. So, to play it safe, I am sticking with lighter material. So... For me today the opposite of laying down/long nap/want to shut out...

and because why not? Gifs, gifs, gifs... toodles, Katie Marie